you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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