I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
