just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
