Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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