The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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