is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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