the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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