I think I died a long time ago.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
