ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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