no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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