I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
