It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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