jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
