We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The air was thick with penises
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
