when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
