i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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