Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
