Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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