i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
there is glitter all over my balls
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
