You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
