I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
