Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
