I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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