you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
