so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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