Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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