I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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