i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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