Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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