Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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