My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
