we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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