i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
