Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
