He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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