Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
