Grow some girl-balls and come out already
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
