he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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