That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
