not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
