oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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