I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
