In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Is it penis luge time yet?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize