Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
