The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
