i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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