she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize