All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
