it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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