ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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