Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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