All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
