Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club

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(908): View more from New Jersey

i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you

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(815): View more from Illinois

so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.

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(716): View more from New York

Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week

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(818): View more from California

You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.

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(954): View more from Florida

Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.

(1-954): View more from Florida

Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.

(954): View more from Florida

I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?

(1-954): View more from Florida

A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think

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(540): View more from Virginia

IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP

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(804): View more from Virginia

I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way

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