It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
