Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize