pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
