Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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