I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
