she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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