Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
