i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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