maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
