If that was your dad, he is hot
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
