its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
