Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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